Every leader carries a wide range of emotions through the working day. A difficult meeting may spark frustration. A restructure on the horizon may fuel anxiety. A stalled project may create boredom. A loss in a team may open grief. These experiences influence decisions, behaviour, and culture in powerful ways.

Emotional intelligence does not remove challenging emotions. Instead, it gives leaders a clearer way to see what each feeling signals and how to respond in a skilful, values-aligned way.

Today we will explore how primary emotions work, why certain feelings feel so strong, and how leaders can use simple tools to turn emotional awareness into practical capability.

The Six Primary Emotions and Their Triggers

Across cultures, researchers consistently identify six primary emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust, and surprise. These emotions show up on faces, in bodies, and in behaviour in remarkably similar ways, regardless of language or location.

Each primary emotion links to a universal trigger:

• Fear appears when a person feels physically or psychologically threatened
• Sadness follows the loss of anything valuable, whether tangible or intangible
• Anger arises when a person feels he or she is unable to do anything vital
• Disgust indicates that something is offensive or that a rule or value has been broken
• Happiness arises when things seem to go well or when a person gains something valued
• Surprise directs attention when something unexpected occurs

The intensity of a feeling shifts from one person to another. Values, history, context, and current capacity all shape that experience. The universal triggers remain the same, while each person places an individual “thumbprint” over the top.

For leaders, this framework matters. A surge of anger may show up when a project faces delays, when a stakeholder ignores an agreement, or when a policy clashes with a deeply held value. Fear may emerge in response to genuine risk or imagined future scenarios. Sadness may arise after a restructure, a change in role, or the loss of a valued connection.

Recognising the trigger behind a feeling gives leaders an entry point for action.

Challenging Emotions Leaders Experience Every Week

Many leadership conversations revolve around what people often call “difficult feelings”: anxiety, overwhelm, boredom, resentment, envy, grief, confusion, and vulnerability. Each links back to the primary emotions and carries valuable information.

Anxiety is part of the fear family.   When the mind imagines "what if" situations, it often emerges as racing thoughts, a tight chest, and restless energy.

Boredom typically occurs when a work is unchallenging or incompatible with one's ideals.   It typically conveys a desire for growth, participation, or stretching.

Resentment can arise when a person holds onto anger for a lengthy period, especially when the situation feels unjust or unresolved.

Envy and jealousy surface during comparison. They may signal a desire for growth, recognition, or change.

Grief and despair follow deep loss, whether through bereavement, career changes, or significant shifts in identity and purpose.

Vulnerability often sits in the background whenever emotions feel intense, visible, or exposed.

In leadership roles, these emotions frequently appear around performance conversations, feedback, change programs, psychosocial risk, and high-stakes decisions. Suppression often amplifies them. Conscious engagement creates growth.

How The Body and Brain Support Emotional Skill

Emotions exist in both the body and the brain. Leaders experience a racing heart when anxious, a heavy chest when sad, clinched jaw and fists when angry, a churning stomach when disgusted, and warm, expansive energy when proud.

Two brain systems play a key role:

The limbic system responds quickly to emotionally charged situations.

The prefrontal cortex promotes reflection, planning, and self-regulation.

When these systems function together, leaders feel an emotion, pause, and then decide how to respond.  That sequence is at the heart of emotionally savvy leadership.  It influences how leaders conduct meetings, provide feedback, establish boundaries, and foster psychologically secure settings.

Practical Tools for Dealing with Strong Emotions

Leaders may develop emotional intelligence through simple, evidence-based activities.

1. Name the emotion more precisely.

Neuroscientist Matthew Lieberman's research emphasises the importance of labelling feelings.  When a person correctly names an emotion, the brain's self-regulation networks get activated, and the intensity of the experience begins to subside.

Leaders can experiment with more explicit terminology instead of using "stressed" or "fine":

"I feel apprehensive and excited about this change."

"I feel disappointed and concerned about that decision."

"I feel energised and hopeful after that conversation."

This expanded vocabulary promotes clearer thinking, better decision-making, and more open communication.

2. Identify triggers and patterns.

When leaders name emotions more clearly, patterns emerge:

Certain types of meetings may routinely cause frustration.

Specific topics may raise anxiety.

Periods of low challenge may link with boredom.

Recognising these patterns opens the door to constructive change.Leaders might change their preparation, create support, explain expectations, or seek coaching on reoccurring issues.

3. Use curiosity to spark movement.

Curiosity switches the focus from rumination to discovery.  When fear arises, curious questions such as "What exactly feels at risk here?", "What information would boost confidence?", or "Who could assist with this decision?" shift the experience in a positive direction.

Curiosity also promotes conversation with others. Leaders who respond to visible emotion with grounded interest rather than judgement signal that emotions are welcome data inside the culture.

4. Practise healthy vulnerability

Strong, trusted relationships often grow through shared vulnerability. Leaders who express themselves honestly in clear, grounded language make it simpler for others to do the same.

Examples include:

"I feel nervous about this change and committed to making it work with you."

"I feel frustrated and also grateful that we can speak openly about this."
Healthy vulnerability, along with clear limits and psychological safety, enhances culture, involvement, and well-being.

What are the Next Steps for Leaders and Practitioners?

Emotional understanding provides a strong foundation for leadership.  The next level is structured development, which improves capability and produces demonstrable results.

MSCEIT®2 Accreditation | Virtual Classroom February 2026 Intake

MSCEIT®2 assesses emotional intelligence as an ability. Practitioners and people leaders use it to design targeted development pathways and to track growth over time.

Our next MSCEIT®2 Accreditation begins on Monday 16 February 2026. Secure your place in the next virtual cohort.

Learning Through Leadership | 10 weeks | Begins Friday 6 March 2026

Learning Through Leadership creates a ten-week, small-group leadership sprint where participants explore real challenges, emotional patterns, and new responses in a confidential, expertly facilitated space.

Register for Learning Through Leadership, starting Friday 6 March 2026, and learn alongside a committed cohort each week.

Together, MSCEIT®2 Accreditation and Learning Through Leadership turn emotional insight into measurable shifts in leadership behaviour, culture, and organisational outcomes.

Explore how our science-backed courses and tools can support you or your team to flourish. Whether you are starting your journey or deepening your expertise, Langley Group is here to help you thrive.

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